Queen in favour of republic after endless meetings with Howard
Wednesday, 22 March 2006
The Queen has swung her support behind Australia becoming a republic, according to Palace insiders. Her Majesty has decided that ceding sovereignty over one of the largest nations remaining in the Commonwealth is worth no longer having to spend extended periods conversing with John Howard, telling a lady-in-waiting that “there’s only so many times one can have the same stilted conversation about the time one met Sir Donald Bradmanâ€.
The Prime Minister's company irked her Majesty so much that she returned home only a day into the Commonwealth Games. “Honestly, if I'd had to spend another day with John Howard telling me about how he's a close personal friend of President Bush's, there would have been another dismissal,†she said.
The Queen said she far preferred the company of former Prime Minister Paul Keating, who, due to Her Majesty's decades of having a separate bedroom to Prince Philip, was the last man to actually touch her.
She also understood the increasingly common Australian position that the time for the change will be when her son Charles becomes king. “I can relate to Australians' feelings, because I don't like having much to do with him either,†she said. “I didn't even want to go to his wedding,â€
“And I am particularly glad that because I have to die first, there's no possible way I'll be around to see his coronation.â€
However despite her support for a republic, the Queen has come out against a direct-election model for the republic, saying that the Australian people couldn’t be trusted to elect a President themselves if they were foolish enough to elect Howard four times.
http://www.chaser.com.au/content/view/3072/26/
Australia, the lucky count... ry.