[Attica]

Woo just updated.

[Mazhi]

Mazhi bin Mazhallah Mazhein al Mazhada Mazhalli al Mazhilan Mazhen XXIXIXXIXXIXIXXXXIXI.





Once the leader of a notorious Islamic fundamentalist terrorist organization, saw the error of his ways, and became a born-again Pizza deliverer.



Often found on the street preaching love, kindness, respect for the environment and separation of Church and State.

[The Immortal Goon]

The Immortal Goon is a Hiberno-Cascadian political activist in Cascadia, a Northwest Region of Pofoland. He is director of the current events section of the Pofolandian worker's movement SE, noted for his knowledge on Irish history, stout, and metal. He is a recent arrival in the world of Pofolandian politics with a pension for the Socialism Now party. It is unclear what role, if any, he will take in the future government because of his currently nomadic existence. This is largely due to the fact that he's unemployed and nobody will just give him internet access all the time.



Early Life and Education

The Immortal Goon was first noted some time in the late Roman period when recovered by a legion after crossing the Rhine. Though he theoretically aligned with Rome he considered himself a barbarian. A political marriage that would have tied him more deeply in to the waning empire's politics fell through as he realized he had known his bride to be when she was five, and he eventually set up a farm on his own. Betrayed by his close friend The Greek, he left Rome for the untamed north days before the Alaric, King of the Visigoths, began his campaign that climaxed in the sacking of Rome. Though the accuracy is highly debated among historians, it is said that TIG invented the high five while passing Alaric in about 408 saying, "Let the bitch burn."


Composite of what TIG wants to look like, circa 300 AD

The Immortal Goon travelled through Roman England and disappeared to the island of Hibernia. Little is known about his time here. Various accounts describe his alleged slaying of the Pixie King and his long courtship to the Faerie Queen, as well as his leading the resistance against Roman slavers and Vikings. However, most of these accounts probably came from what he was reading about between masturbation sessions during his leisure time in middle school. There is proof that he spent time studying with Saint Finbarr from about 600-620. Much later, a university was built on that spot with the motto, "Where Finbarr taught let Munster learn" - a quote attributed to TIG when he was drinking at the Corner House trying to impress a broad about how it was no big deal that he was studying there. Clearly his mastery over the language wasn't up to par as he's pretty sure there should be a comma or something in that motto. Proof of his studying with Finbarr also exists as Goon is still waiting for the transcripts he paid for, and he still owes UCC - a later institution built on that site - an ungodly amount of money. So ungodly that UCC is pretty secular for a place that a saint taught.

It is also known that he left Hibernia at various times and travelled throughout Europe at various stages of his eternal life. There are various recordings of him traveling through the Byzantium world and it is said that while on his visit to what is now southern Greece he found the sword of Hector, which he presented to Roland, who lost it upon his death fighting the Moors in Spain in 778.

A notable picture and story of his meeting with Charlemagne exists that are both often attributed to later events and participants. In 812 TIG, wound up in what is now France and was convinced by an antiwar activist that he is responsible for the "blood" culture through his influence on the Alaric. This convinced TIG to write a letter to King Charlemagne asking to be made an "Imperial Agent at Large" for the Bureau of Arson and Dangerous Hippies. No such position actually existed, but Charlemagne, wanting desperately to win over the youth of the Moors, which he viewed as hating him, decided to meet with TIG in an attempt to improve his image with the "kids".


Charlemagne (left) and Goon (right)

Cascadia

As Hibernia became increasingly christian and less metal, TIG took time to live with his old enemies the Vikings. After some epic stories I don't know that much about - I mean - history doesn't know that much about, Goon ended up in Vinland. It was not long until the Vikings fled or integrated in to the native culture of the natives. TIG said they were "totally weak" for "giving up on Odin and all that sweet shit" and began to wander westin to what is now North American Cascadia. TIG spent a good amount of time among the Cascades. One famous account of his exploits was the so called "collapse of the Bridge of the Gods." TIG, who set up his home on Mt. Hood had relations with the beautiful native Loowit. A giant at the time, Pahto, was also in love with Loowit. Growing increasingly irritated over their rivalry, they escalated their fighting until they began to throw red-hot boulders at each other, causing the earth to shake. The result was that a great rock formation, the Tomoanowos, was broken. The natives, being more than a little irritated, cut off his firewater supply and Goon was forced to continue west.

Here he lived with the Yaquina until James Cook came to the shore in 1778. Cook reported his findings:

The land appeared to be of moderate height, diversified with hill and Valley and almost everywhere covered with wood. There was nothing remarkable about it except one screaming metal guy at the northern extreme [of] the land [where there was a] formed point which I called Cape Foulweather from the foul mood the metal guy greeted us in, saying something like, "Oh God, the Puritans. I guess the party's over."

Goon continued to live in Cascadia for the next three centuries or so. In 1844 Goon, still irrationally bored with what he simplistically called the "Puritan" English and the "un-metal" Americans, he joined the First Executive Committee. Alongside his ally Osborne Russell, he attempted to make the region now known as Cascadia independent. When the effort failed Osborne Russell left south and Goon famously declared,

I guess if it's a choice between un-metal Yankees three thousand miles away, English Puritans here, or supporting the goddamned slave trade, I'll take the un-metal Americans. It's not like they'll ever get powerful enough to become dependent on our forests to make houses that are supported by shitty sub-prime loans that fall through, putting Oregon on the fast track to the highest unemployment in the country at about the same time I have to pay off those loans to Finbarr.

It was proposed to be the new state's motto, but was rejected for something that looked better as a tattoo. This was probably a good choice.

In 1857 Goon met a German named Henry Weinhard. After hearing he made beer, Goon persuaded him to start a brewery. This brewery later became the city of Portland.

Virtual Life

Goon, taking a corporate job in recent decades, hated it and moved to the internet. Here he joined SE, made a name for himself, and eventually moved to the Cascadian region of Pofoland, a region he settled with other immigrants from North American Cascadia.

Controversy

Some would say his personal history has some inconsistencies. But for what it is, I think I did a damned good job.

[Dave]

The Rt Hon. David "Dave" Rǫgnvaldr Ragnargrímsson (June 22, 1950) is a Pofoese politician and industrialist. He is currently the Governor of the Pofoese state of Bifrǫst, founder and leader of the national-conservative party the Pan-National League, and the founder and non-executive chairman of the major shipbuilding and industrial concern Drakkar Industri. He led a private invasion of Equatorial Guinea in 1979, which he ruled until 2006, when he sold the country to PoFonMobil for an estimated $100bn. He previously led Bifrǫst to victory over Poforike during the Jomskrieg in 1985, resulting in Bifrǫst's successful secession from Poforike. Dave largely organized the demonstrations of 2003, where he gladly participated with the communists, which led to the mutiny of the Poforikeska Army and the toppling of dictatorial regime. He is the founder and current leader of Poforikeska Ásatrúarfélagið ("Pofo Realm's Fellowship of Æsir Faith").

Dave is controversial within Poforike and abroad for his racialist scholarship and comments which have been widely perceived as racist, xenophobic, Islamophobic, anti-semitic, and misogynistic. He is further notorious for his serial drinking and driving, which he has famously described as, "Symbolic of man's triumph over nature."

However, Dave has also drawn praise for being eminently fair and generous in his dealings, and even his most ardent opponents begrudingly respect him and admit that he is likeable. As the dictator of Equatorial Guinea, Dave successfully industrialized and modernized the desperately poor African country (see section Eugenics Controversy), bringing the highest quality of life anywhere in Africa. After leading Bifrǫst to independence from Poforike, Dave tirelessly supported dissidents across the political spectrum in Poforike, and despite leading the military forces which captured the capital Rävsborg Dave refused to install himself as dictator, instead soliciting a Nordic Council Trusteeship until free and fair elections could be organized.

Family
Dave was born to Harald Ragnargrímsson and Agnes, née Blóðøx. Harald was an infantry officer in the Second World War, who was decorated with the Knight's Cross of the Iron Cross for his bravery. After the war Harald inherited his family farm, which he grew wealthy from due to a successful hybridization of sump weed and quinoa, producing miracle crop known as sumpoa. Today eggoa is Poforike's largest agricultural export. Agnes came from a prominent family of scholars which claimed descent from the 10th century figure Eirik Blóðøx (or Eric Bloodaxe). The couple have a happy marriage which produced four children.

Early Life
Dave was born on his family's farm in Bifrǫst, the second of four children. He was known as an atletic, precocious child, but one who was also insufferable and had serious discipline problems. In school he tended to excel in extracurricular activities, especially athletic ones, but frequently skipped classes and earned very poor marks. He eventually dropped out of high school and became a deep sea salvage diver.

Business Career
During the Yom Kippur war, Dave predicted that OPEC would embargo the West over its support for Israel, sending world energy prices soaring. Borrowing $100,000 through family connections, he invested in risky stock options on many small oil companies in Poforike. The bet paid off as the Energy Crisis hit, and a series of leveraged positions on top of that turn Dave into a very wealthy man in 1973. Seeking to capitalize on his newfound wealth, Dave started the shipbuilding firm Drakkar Industri.

Dave started Drakkar Industri because he believed that there were great profits to be made through the development of far more energy efficient shipping. Dave's vision for achieving this was the resurrection of sail power in combination with lighter, more hydrodynamic hulls. Dave designed a mechanized sail rigging system using light-weight aramid fiber sails, as well as innovative kite parasails which captured wind between 50-200 meters above the vessel. He introduced the trimaran hull for commercial shipping as well, and later on the M Hull. Further weight savings were realized through a proprietary technique called "clinker welding", inspired by the building of Viking longships, which also greatly cut labor time.

Drakkar Industri rapidly expanded throughout the 1970s and became the world's largest shipbuilder by 1983. Its success inspired a host of imitators in Poforike, propelling Poforike past Japan as the world's largest shipbuilder. While lately South Korean and Chinese competition has been stiff, Drakkar Industri remains the world's largest and most profitable shipbuilder, and Poforike remains the world's largest shipbuilding nation. It is the only major manufacturing industry in which Poforike is a world leader.

The wealth from Drakkar Industri allowed Dave to invade Equatorial Guinea, making him one of the world's wealthiest men (the true extent of Dave's wealth is a closely guarded secret). Dave has subsequently built substantial stakes throughout the world in banking, oil, and real estate. Dave foresaw the recent financial crisis and made his bets accordingly, which has increased his wealth and prestige further. He took a major stake many American subprime mortgage brokers in mid-2008, which has resulted in him receiving enormous sums of bailout money from the United States' Troubled Asset Relief Program. This has made him the focus of intense scrutiny by American Congressman Barney Frank, who attacked Dave as the worst sort of profiteer, and by American journalist Lou Dobbs, who has accused Dave of sucking the blood out of the American people for personal gain.

Due to his burgeoning political career, Dave has retired from daily operations at Drakkar Industri, but remains non-executive chairman.

Conquest of Equatorial Guinea
Upon reading geological reports indicating substantial oil reserves in Equatorial Guinea, Dave decided to organize a private invasion. The poor, pathetic country offered no real resistance, and Dave took control. This invited immediate global condemnation including from the United States and the Soviet Union, but no one really cared about a loser country like Equatorial Guinea so the world did nothing.

Dave first instituted strong privacy and civil rights protections in the country, putting the population at ease. The country was then made a hub for the manufacture of labor-intensive parts needed in Drakkar Industri's ships while its vast oil reserves were developed. Dave then pursued Singapore's model of industrialization, accelerating the process by using the oil revenues to accelerate the rapid growth of the capital stock. During Dave's rule from 1979-2006, the country enjoyed the highest rate of growth in the world and went from a dirt poor African garbage country to an industrialized nation with a higher standard of living than the United States.

With parliamentary elections imminent and record high oil prices in 2006, Dave decided it was time to quit Equatorial Guinea. Contacting his friend Michael von Clausewitz, who successfully defended him against a war crimes tribunal in The Hague, Dave arranged for a sale of the country to PoFonMobil. This was decried by the African Union, but Dave dismissed this, "The African Union? What a joke!" The amount of this sale was not disclosed, but forensic accountants have estimated it as being in excess of $100 billion.

Eugenics Controversy
However, Dave's rule was not without controversy. Tersely informing the press that, "African is poor because it is populated by Africans," Dave promptly had the "bottom" three-quarters of the population sterilized, with many paid to emigrate. This was attacked as a racist human rights violation, which Dave responded to with, "Everyone who disagrees with me is a pederastic terrorist." Dave was then protested by NAMBLA, who called his comments, "insensitive to pedophiles everywhere."

Whatever the morality of Dave's policies, they were a clear success. Equatorial Guinea is now one of the highest-IQ nations of the world, with an average IQ of 104. Dave credits this as essential in building Equatorial Guinea's high level of development. African-Pofoese scholar Okonkwo Diallo has claimed that the success of Equatorial Guinea does not prove that racialist theories have merit. Instead, the Professor argues, that Equatorial Guinea is proof that so-called inherent intelligence rises in proportion to the level of development, and that the high IQ in Equatorial Guinea reflects the high levels of industrialization, healthcare, and education. While expressing deep disgust for Dave's eugenic theories and colonial invasion, he has advocated that Dave's other policies be taken as a model for resource-rich African nations. He also pointed out that the mass sterilization, though despicable, had the effect of ending destructive overpopulation.

Jomswar
Dave had long been uncomfortable with the repressive rule of Poforike's repressive CIA-backed regime. When the government ordered the confiscation of all privately-owned firearms and the imprisonment of all trade unionists, Dave and his unionized workforce had enough. Organizing his workers into a militia he called the Jomsvikings (after the legendary mercenary company), Dave launched a guerrilla war of resistance in 1983 centered in Poforike's far north, especially in his home state of Bifrǫst. Eventually he was able to procure heavy weaponry from South Africa by promising covert financial support of UNITA. In 1985 the Jomsvikings defeated government forces and Bifrǫst was proclaimed independent. Initially planning an invasion of the rest of Poforike, American Secretary of State George Schulz indicated that the United States would not accept such a move.

Governor of Bifrǫst
Pursuing similar policies which were working so well in Equatorial Guinea, Dave propelled Bifrǫst from a relative backware to by the most modern region of Poforike. The mandatory savings plan provided a huge pool of funds to develop, and Bifrǫst features ultrafast motorways, high speed rail, 100% recycling, and the world's only operational thorium-based breeder reactor. The region, home to 3 million, is 60% wealthier than the rest of Poforike.

Despite the tremendous economic achievements, Dave's rule of Bifrǫst has been criticized by some. Ethnic minorities present at independence were offered cash to leave, and most did. Dave's eugenic policies have been attacked by human rights' groups, and his social conservative policies have been attacked by feminist and homosexual groups. Furthermore, the legalization and encouragement of drinking and driving has resulted in the American group MADD describing Dave as Doctor Death. In 2005 Dave invited the Jyllands' Posten Mohammed cartoonists to Bifrǫst, where he decorated them with the highest state honors of Bifrǫst, granted a ticker-tape parade, and proclaimed a public holiday. This resulted in the Islamic terrorist Mazhi bin Mazhallah Mazhein al Mazhada Mazhalli al Mazhilan Mazhen XXIXIXXIXXIXIXXXXIXI attempting to kill Dave by blowing up his house. Fortunately, no one was home.

In 2006 Bifrǫst rejoined Poforike under the Nordic Council Trusteeship, in preparation for the elections in 2009. The population is largely supportive of Dave's new party, the Pan-National League, and it is his largest base of support.

Ásatrú
In 1975, Dave met Sveinbjörn Beinteinsson, the Icelandic founder of Íslenska Ásatrúarfélagið ("Icelandic fellowship of Æsir faith"). Beinteinsson convinced Dave that Christianity was a false, alien faith and that only the ancient Norse religion of the Æsir could deliver spiritual peace. Dave then founded the Poforikeska Ásatrúarfélagið and promoted its activities. Today the faith claims about 4 million PoFoese as members, with the most heavy concentration in Bifrǫst (where about half belong to the faith).

Many critics point out that the Poforikeska Ásatrúarfélagið provides a convenient religious cover for Dave's polygamy, ethnocentrism, and barbaric advocacy of the right of conquest. Dave has called his critics effeminate and asked if they have hair growing over their eyes.

"Scholar"
In 1987, Dave published the narrative history The Jötunn are Restless: The Destruction of Utgard, a description of the great Christian-Pagan civil wars which raged across Poforike a thousand years ago. Backed by new archaeological research, including a spectacular finding of ancient runestones offshore recording skaldic poetry from the era, the book was internationally celebrated. It also helped contribute to a revival of Poforikeska nationalism and the Ásatrú faith.

Building on this, Dave published an interdisciplinary work titled Reassessing Nordicism in 1995. In this, Dave attempted to show that southern Scandinavia was the urheimat of all Indo-European peoples and languages. Dave demonstrated that the higher rates of resistance to immunosuppressive illnesses in Scandinavian populations, and greater disposition towards long-term planning, higher levels of endurance, and greater brain weights than other European populations meant that early 20th century Nordicism was neither inappropriate nor discredited. While Dave attempted to cast this as a resurrection of Darwin's own views, he was promptly branded a racist. During a trip to the United Kingdom, a minor international incident erupted when as a result of this work he was charged with "Inciting Racial Hatred". Dave cited diplomatic immunity and was released.

In preparation for the coming elections, Dave decided to collaborate with Charlie Marmalade to launch the nationalist newsletter National Correspondence. More moderate than his own views (and leadership of Bifrǫst), this helped establish his political views nation-wide, expanding his support base beyond Bifrǫst, although it remained concentrated there. Unsurprisingly, this newsletter led to more whining from the usual suspects. In particular, the PCLU was outraged when Dave referred to recent immigrants as, "Smelly foreigners have poured the poison of disloyalty into the very arteries of our national life and should be processed into raw materials for export on the world market." Subsequent market research by Poforike's leading deodorant company somewhat validated Dave by finding that recent immigrants were in fact very smelly, about two standard deviations of smelliness to the right of Poforike's mean smelliness.

Pan-National League
Building on the success of National Correspondence, and in preparation for the coming election, Dave launched the nationalist party known as the Pan-National League. The party stands for strict limits on immigration, high levels of merit for immigrants, and insistence on the cultural compatibility of immigrants. Racialism has been rejected as unnecessary and divisive by the party. Economically, the party stands for producerism. Dave has said that Poforike, though wealth, is underindustrialized and too unequal. The PNL proposes a rapid industrialization program to address both issues. The party is socially conservative.

Despite, or perhaps because of, Dave's controversial reputation, the party has proved very popular, even outside Bifrǫst. In the 2009 elections it captured more votes than any other right-wing party, and was tied for third largest party overall. This makes it the second most electorally successful nationalist party in the West, after Vlaams Belang. It appears that it many be the most successful in realizing its aims however, as other parties have noted the party's pragmatism and moderation. It seems highly likely that the party will join the governing coalition and play a prominent role. The left-wing Social Liberal Democrats, despite opposing nationalism, has said that there is great merit in the PNL's economic policies and that its immigration proposals are not unreasonable.

The party has not been without controversy. In particular, many commentators, particularly the ungrateful communists and anarchists whom Dave aided in toppling the dictatorial regime, accuse Dave of being an unreconstructed racist and the party as being a personality cult of Dave. Dave has challenged them to find anything racist in the platform, and has made it known that he is more than willing to step down as party leader if his reputation proves to be a problem. The communists have also accused the PNL of being a closet fascist party, noting the PNL's attempt to absorb the fascists. Dave charged that this was an outright lie, and that the PNL had refused any concessions to the fascists. Dave sparked bemused controversy at a conference at the foreign press club, where a reporter quizzed him about diversity. Dave answered, "Diversity? Sure we're diverse! We've got more women, Jews, Puerto Ricans, and foreigners supporting us than any other party! We've even got zipperheads voting for us!"

Arrest for DUI and Anti-Semitic Outburst
Shortly after the parliamentary elections, Dave was arrested from reckless driving and DUI. The Rävsborg Dagbladet reported,

Leader of the PNL arrested, spouts anti-semitism
Today, the PNL leader Dave was arrested on drunk driving charges in the county of South Sokath. Police on the scene report that his black BMW sports car, with license plate NORDCST was swerving dangerously along the busy New Yeddi turnpike when they pulled him over. Immediately belligerent, Dave exclaimed, "Don't you know who I am? I'm the mother****ing juggernaught!" The policemen on scene then asked him to step out of his car, to which Dave asked for the officer's identification. When the officer said his name Dave replied, "___? That's a typical jewbag name! Dave was released on bail and has denied repeated requests for comment.

Personal Life
Dave is known as being a dandy, and wears bespoke clothing, particularly Savile Row suits. While some have charged that this means that Dave is not a man of the people, Dave has answered his critics by saying, "You think the guy in the $50,000 suit has to listen to you?" Dave also has a hobby of racing sports cars, and place 3rd in the Rolex 24 Hours of Daytona in 1998. He also set a transatlantic speed record for a sailplane.

Dave lives with six women who range in age from 16-28. He has 20 children, and is currently trying to raise all of them to be Olympic athletes. Asked how being a polygamist squares with his traditional morality, Dave responded, "I'm rich."

[Fasces]

Ignatius Siadhail Born in 1946.

Ignatius Siadhail was born in a small fishing village in the far north of Pofoland. He grew up in quiet poverty, attending school only rarely. The majority of days he would help his father and brother, both fishermen, with the family business. In 1960, his father died of cirrhosis, and his brother, Mael, then 22, became the head of the household.

Mael was a cruel man, and Ignatius left home in 1961, at 15, to New Clausewitz. He was imprisoned for petty theft in 1962, and sent to a reform institution. He graduated in 1966, with the highest honors, and attended the University of New Clausewitz, where he studied philosophy. He graduated in 1971.

In 1972, his brother was killed in a car accident, and he went home to work for his family. He took over his family's trawler, and took out a loan to buy two more. Unfortunately, this venture failed, and in 1980, he sold all three to cover his debts. He declared bankruptcy in 1981. His mother passed away soon after.

He began to work in a local fishery in 1983. Unsatisfied with the condition, he began one of the first fishery unions in 1985, and became a renowned labor organizer throughout the region. His dissatisfaction with the regime grew, and he became more radical. In 1989 he was arrested for calling for the resignation of the reigning dictator. He was released in 1993.

Upon his release, he bought another trawler, outside of New Clausewitz. While not very successful, he did enjoy a modest income, and lived comfortably.

In 1999, he began the National Front, an organization calling for the division of PoFoland along industrial lines, and advocating the creation of a national labor front, with syndicalised work place. The organization was outlawed, and he was arrested for a few months before being released again. He retreated into the background, and tried to simply scrape a living, doing many odd jobs over the next few years.

In 2007, he co-founded the People of PoFo, and became its leader, his new full-time position. He spent the next two years quietly seeking support. In 2009, upon the death of the former dictator, his party became legitimate, and it ran for Parliament, winning four seats.

[Vladimir]

Vladimir Kuzmin, born in 1960; Donbass, former USSR, in a coal miners' community. served in the soviet army 1978-1980; started work in a coal mine at 20 in 1981. At 30 (1990), became involved in the workers' movement, later played a key role in the miners' strike committees which enjoyed a brief autonomy in some areas of Donbass where they transformed into militias now largely forgotten but celebrated back then as the source of order and security in a time of savage banditry of the ruling class. In the first half of the 90's Vladimir became actively involved in proletarian politics; the series of miners' strikes all across the country brought him forward as a negotiator with president Yeltsin. In 1993-1994, Vladimir participated in the widespread rioting against state politics, trade union organisation, underground arms supplies and minor insurrections. After being arrested and escaping in 1994, he fled on a captured fishing vessel across the Mediterranean and Atlantic into Pofoland, and upon arrival was swept up by a storm of social unrest and uprising against Pofoland's dictator. He was taken on board by the SN, who appreciated his experience in struggle, and became active in organisation of a series of general strikes and marches that eventually brought down the dictator. During the turbulent years following, he worked at the shipbuilding concern "Drakkar Industri", owned by the brutal capitalist "big bad Dave" as he is known among the workers. During these years Vladimir took leading roles in strikes and occupations at Drakkar Industri, helping to achieve an end to tyrannical overseer control, brutal working hours, pathetic wages, terror on trade unions, theft through penalties and political usage of workers for Dave's political ends. In the course of the struggle Vladimir became a familiar figure in Pofoland, as well as a familiar (and not so welcome) figure for Dave, who spent quite a lot of time in talks with Vladimir.
As the workers' movement re-emerged in 2006, fuelled by dissatisfaction with parliamentary incompetence, poverty and political chaos, Vladimir returned to the SN to become one of its head figures. In 2009, he succeeded Potemkin as the SN chairman and led the SN to a decisive success in the 2009 elections.

[Dave]

What? Bifrost was independent of Pofoland at that time and did not allow immigrants from the former USSR.

[Vladimir]

too bad you had shit sea patrols then

[Dave]

Let me get this straight

-country that I govern accepts an illegal alien
-you get employed at my company, despite my policy of not hiring foreign workers
-you get employed in violation of my country's labor laws
-you lead strikes and occupations at my company even though such actions are illegal in Bifrost
-you are somehow a familiar figure in Pofoland despite (allegedly) residing (illegally) in Bifrost

this is what happened?

[Vladimir]

Indeed; however your company seemed keen on ignoring your labour laws when I offered to work for half of your lowest wage. Of course not so when we started the first strikes
Furthermore I am now a famous and loved figure protected by a deputy's mandate; your country exists no longer; my party has more votes than yours

[Dave]

Drakkar Industri had a strike??? When was this?

[Vladimir]

capitalists don't have a great memory do they? Why else do you think you can't fine people anymore for spilling tea in the canteen?

[Dave]

Perhaps you should rewrite my biography so your revisionism is plausible?

[Vladimir]

Since you never touched that in your company's history here, I am glad to have publicised something you censored out before and keep censoring now despite looking foolish.

[Dave]

You wrote a biography which was a humorous jab at me. However, while it did not directly contradict anything I (or anyone else) wrote, it certainly contradicts the spirit of what I wrote. Thus, you achieve your political (well, fake political) and humor goals at my direct expense. Worse from my end of it, I come off as a douche in bringing it up. I was very cautious to only incorporate other members into my biography in a manner which I felt they would appreciate, and everyone before me followed that model as well. That is, everyone has been allowed to create his own character thus far. If you like, I can edit my own biography to reflect your hijacking of my personal narrative, but it's not something I particularly appreciate.

[Vladimir]

I have no problem with jabbing anyone or anyone jabbing me; to make the simulation more realistic I wrote an appropriate biography while incorporating previous scenarios with probable extensions. Not sure why you wouldn't appreciate this considering it makes everything more interesting and realisitic.
You didn't expect a workers' party leader to have a biography where he's your buddy I hope?

[Dave]

What exactly would be realistic about a worker leader remaining unmolested by an allegedly brutal capitalist who also controls the state? Wouldn't just one of us be dead?

I created significant areas of comic fodder specifically for people to take jabs at me, and you chose instead to revise my narrative to suit your political purposes in my simulation.

[Vladimir]

perhaps I was molested? But you didn't dare to kill me because the workers' reaction would be far more unprofitable than negotiations. And I didn't kill you because your security is too good.

and no I didn't revise anything; I didn't even contradict you as you admitted

However, while it did not directly contradict anything

you, however already attempted to contradict what I wrote. So which one of us should really lack appreciation.

[albionfagan]

Bloody hell children it's your biographies, surely there are more important things to engage in warfare about

[Vladimir]

let's get all of SN-RF in here to back my publication