- 03 Feb 2006 20:29
#801827
The Hare and the Tortoise and the Lion
The animals arranged a famous race, between the fastest and slowest of their number... the hare and the tortoise. The hare, wearing a stars-and-stripes hat and a 'nuke-iraq' t-shirt, warmed up at the starting line. The tortoise smoked a pipe with his mate Arafat the cat and helped with the wording of a new peace treaty.
The starting gun was fired and the hare shot off. The tortoise ambled into action, slow and steady of pace. Minutes later the hare was half way to the end of the course so he thought he'd have sex with a passing rabbit. He was busy having sex some hours later when the tortoise crossed the finish line, and only putting his trousers back on when the award ceremony was over.
Nonetheless the hare went down in history as the victor - a simple victory... he went to the tortoise's home, shot him and his family and neighbours dead, took the award, went to the award-giving authorities, shot some of them dead too and had the records changed, and then returned to his little home where, much later on, he was eaten alive by a lion.